“Dad just collapsed!”
Those words struck such a blow to my heart I nearly forgot the five month baby nursing at my breast. One year ago, my dad collapsed and the world held it’s breath. For a split second my world stood still, the deafening pounding of my heart the only sound to be heard.
The next few days were a blur of hospitals, doctors, tests, results. Words I could hardly speak, let alone spell, swirled about me in a cyclone of vocabulary. The answers to the questions begat only more questions. Through it all there were kids, and groceries, and jobs, and…
I found myself standing in front of open doors searching. Searching. I need it… I must… The comfort I so desperately needed would surely be found in the next quick fix from the pantry shelf. But nothing. The more I filled, the emptier I became.
On the worst day, with the worst news, and the worst outlook I was paralyzed. Frozen. Unable to choose; to think; to quell the burning of sorrow and anger and fear and worry. It was then I heard His voice,
You won’t find it on that shelf. Come to Me, put your head on My chest and I will bring you rest.
The temptation to find that rest – that peace – in the tangible; the here and now; the taste, smell and touch, was so great I feared it might suffocate me. But I closed the door; went back to the puzzle on the floor; hands shaking, heart aching I sat beside dimpled hands and matched corners with sides and middles while inside I cried out, called out.
And He answered.
That worst day, turns out wouldn’t end up the worst. He would heal. He would mend.
Thus my journey with Him began a turn down a different path. A path toward character. And strength. And true peace.
The struggle? It’s still there. The temptation of the tangible is ever before me. But He is ever before and behind, within and without, hemmed around me on every side.
I’m super excited to be part of a really neat event today called the Gathered Thoughts Link Party. Amanda over at Life.Edited. is my lovely hostess and provided me with the quote I posted above. The challenge was to write something inspired by that quote, and I’m linking it up today over at LoveFeast Table. I’d love to have you come join me over there and check out the loads of other amazing posts!! (there might even be a giveaway. wink, wink)
I’m also linking up with The Miss Elaine-ous Life, The Better Mom, Write It, Girl, Time Warp Wife, Growing Home, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, Some Girl’s Website
Comments 19
I think this is beautiful and brave. (and so are you)
Our dads are both putting up one heckuva fight. So thankful.
Author
Thank you, friend. Right back at ya!!
We are so blown away by each and every entry and what the Gathered Thought inspired. This is beautiful and raw. Thank you for sharing.
Chris Ann & Kristin
Author
Thank you so much, ladies!!! Thanks for hosting! Kids napping, I’m heading over to read all the awesome!
Thank you for the intro to this meme .. see i am going to be reading all day if they are all as good as this!
Author
Thank you so much, Nicole!
Blessings to your family and so fitting for the prompt.
Great post!
~Samantha
Author
Thank you so much!
I wish I didn’t know that paralysis so well. But I wouldn’t know the peace that passes all understanding either otherwise. Grateful for His presence in our lives. I’m so glad your dad made it through!
Author
Well said, friend. And thank you!!
Very poignant . . .
Author
Thank you, Renee!
That’s a wonderful quote. If only it wasn’t so hard during the trials, right?
Great, thought provoking post, as usual, my friend. 🙂
Author
Yes, I would much prefer easy trials….fun fair trials! Ha!! 🙂 thanks, Elaine!
During those seasons, when we don’t have the luxury of hiding ourselves away to process, getting that kind of news must have been even more difficult. You told the story well and I thought of the way God used it to do a new thing in you and how he uses everything in life to grow us. Nice to meet you through Write it Girl!
Author
Thank you so much! It truly was a blessing that we “just happened” to be in the Ststes on holiday when it happened, so we were able to physically be there for it all.
I love when He meets us in the darkest moments… right when we think we can’t stand underneath the weight of it all.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Author
Thnk you, Meredith! Yes, He is so faithful!
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