Wow, friends…..wow. It has been a heckuva year and a half, ain’t it??
When I wrote this post back in February 2013, I had absolutely no idea what the future held for our family. But, basically, that post means this blog has been essentially dormant for the better part of two years. I’ve had my monthly posts over at The Better Mom, and the occasional post here and there, but by and large I have been silent.
First, it was the bustle and busy of our six months in the States. Then it was the stress and uncertainty of not being able to return to Ireland. And for the last 10 months or so it has been the transition and adjustment into our new home and culture here in Vienna.
Through it all, the words just…wouldn’t come. What had become a true source of refreshment, insight and stress-reflief for me (writing) became stress-inducing. When I used to find inspiration and life lessons out and about in the real world, now I was using all my energy and strength to just….function.
Our first several months here in Vienna were filled with apartment hunting, language learning, and generally just figuring out how to, you know, get to the grocery store, how to function in the grocery store without looking like a total freak, settling in to a new home, new schools, etc. I desperately wanted to get back to writing and sharing life with you all…after all, silence is the blog killer, right?? But deep down I really sensed it needed to be a season of silence. Active silence, though. I time of listening, learning, growing.
Now, however, I kind of feel like I’m hiding…avoiding. I’ve been waiting for the inspiration to return, and have not been trying to actively seek it out. It has sort of become now one of those things I know I need to do for my own good, for my own health. Like eating well or working out. You know once you do it you will feel so much better, so much stronger. Yet getting started is the hardest part. Pushing play or stepping out the door for a run…passing by the bakery and opting instead for a home-prepared, nutrient packed meal might as well be climbing Mount Everest. It’s simple physics, really. That whole inertia thing – you know, how an object at rest will tend to stay at rest.
Friends, I have truly needed rest. I’ve needed quiet, introspection, and to walk around for awhile with eyes wide open, mouth clamped shut and just take it all in. However now, I believe I need to get back into action. The inspiration? Still absent. The beauty? I’m still having to intentionally and actively seek it, rather than it slapping me in the face as soon as I open my front door.
Yet…I’m an object at rest…I’m going to attempt to take the first steps of coming back here, of “working out” with you all. I can’t promise there will be deep, beautiful word pictures flowing forth from my fingers to your screens. It may be more like the very first workout on the season opener of The Biggest Loser…awkward…painful…breath taking – but not in a good way. But, friends, you’ve been a safe place for me over the last three years and I trust you will continue to be.
I’m going to just…do it. And hope and pray the feeling follows action. I’ve been waiting until I felt more like myself before sitting down to do the hard work of writing. But could it be that perhaps…just maybe…I won’t truly start to feel like myself until I let the words come free again?
So, thank you for those who have stuck around through the silence. And to those of you who have incredibly joined our little community over the last two years and continued to visit. I look forward to seeing more of you all again.
So…here we go….let’s….do it.